Opinion column
illustration by Rose Barton
the big rant
columnist boyd farrow on…
celebrity endorsements
Sadly, Britney Spears will no longer be “bringing Danish accent pieces to the US” as the face of a new furniture line by her pal Claus Hjelmbak, whose Scandinavian Style Mansion scores votives for homely Hollywood high-spenders. Maybe Hjelmbak simply decided that having a daybed recommended by someone who can’t even sit without exhibiting a lack of balance and underwear was just too risky. Or, possibly, Britney decided to hold out for the gig as spokesperson for Gap Kids instead.
Either way it’s a major let-off for us all. As the recession digs in, so do celebrities, as skittish conglomerates reason that the only people likely to persuade us to open our wallets are those with lips capable of sucking the numbers off our credit cards.
Eva Longoria may be mouthing that we’re worth it on behalf of L’Oréal Paris but she’s not the only desperate housewife marshalled in for desperate times. Cue Victoria Beckham, robotically modelling Marc Jacobs’ entry-level creations; Madonna recommending Sunsilk; and Carla Bruni – even more implausibly – hawking France.
In the lasts three months alone Liz Hurley began another campaign for Estée Lauder, Gwyneth Paltrow was installed as Tod’s new face and Reese Witherspoon was anointed Avon’s “global ambassador”. And while the wrinkles in Nicole Kidman’s movie career may be beyond botox, she will likely earn oodles spritzing Chanel No. 5 onto her IMAX screen-sized forehead until Sunday Rose has graduated high school.
Market research agency Millward Brown says 15% of all ads in the West featured celebrities in 2007. In India, this figure was 25% and in Taiwan, 45%. This year, these figures could be much higher, especially since spending in Russia and China, where they’ve long replaced Lenin and Mao with Lanvin and Miu Miu, is still in overdrive.
The bizarre thing, though, is that Davie Brown Index, which tracks celebrity’s marketing worth, insists that most stars are viewed with scepticism. Citing a slew of, frankly, tedious metrics, its director Matt Fleming acknowledges: “Trust always seems to be the lowest score”. This makes you wonder if Robert De Niro only just managed to nudge out Robert Mugabe to rave about American Express.
Even weirder, the marketing campaign kicks off this month for Omega’s Planet Ocean watch which, breathless ads scream out, is worn by secret agent James Bond in the upcoming The Quantum of Solace. Newsflash: he’s a fictional character! What sort of an endorsement is that? It’s like saying The Little Mermaid prefers Princes Tuna or that Hamlet was mad about the Mercedes S-Class. This is even more insane than believing real live celebrities actually use the crap they’re paid to endorse.
But maybe we’re not expected to trust celebrity judgement. Maybe we’re simply meant to assume that if a corporation is gaily burning so much cash to promote a product, it must have spent bundles on making it half-decent. Like when magazines pay a fortune on celebrity wedding snaps, knowing readers will pay to see what all the fuss is about. This holy union is also good for recession-hit celebrities as five-carat rocks and private islands ratchet up the cost of the special day. That’s unless they’re also on the payroll for some jittery jewellers or twitchy timeshare outfit.
Indeed, just about the only things we won’t see celebrities endorse right now are the financial institutions beseeching us to put something away for a rainy day. Still, at least chart-topping Rihanna is fronting a campaign for Totes’ new umbrella line which features sparkly fabrics and glittery handle charms.
Bookmark This Post
